By Jack Clinch

There’s a different picture and name next to these words so you must

be bewildered. My name is Jack and I’m the new sheriff in town, a

town called Asbpublicrelationscoordinatorville.

This will be a no nonsense article! However, if

you find a grammatical error in any forthcoming

piece, and bring a signed note from an English

teacher confirming my mistake, I’ll buy you a

Snickers bar. Here’s what’s going on at our fine

educational institution… The finals schedule is

as follows: seniors and those in their classes will

take their exams on June 8 and 9, while underclassmen

don’t study until June 17 and 18. Try

to capture the urgency and panic of the last couple

weeks and expand it to the whole term next year.

Every article I will point out a teacher who has helped Big ASB over the preceding weeks. This month’s

winner is Ms. Guerra, whose stapler we broke. Sorry about that.

Though I am not a super genius and will not graduate on June 11,

qualified seniors will. Bring something squishy to sit on at Edmonds

Stadium, as the ceremony is a marathon of alphabetical commemoration.

Those whose excellence over the past four years did not go unnoticed

will be recognized on the 8, Senior Awards Night.

The rest of us will have a 25 percent empty school for a few days, and

take finals on June 17 and 18. If you see a newly elected member of

class ASB from April 29, make sure to give them a high five or whatever

commendation is appropriate for your social demographic. Bye.