By Jack Clinch
There’s a different picture and name next to these words so you must
be bewildered. My name is Jack and I’m the new sheriff in town, a
town called Asbpublicrelationscoordinatorville.
This will be a no nonsense article! However, if
you find a grammatical error in any forthcoming
piece, and bring a signed note from an English
teacher confirming my mistake, I’ll buy you a
Snickers bar. Here’s what’s going on at our fine
educational institution… The finals schedule is
as follows: seniors and those in their classes will
take their exams on June 8 and 9, while underclassmen
don’t study until June 17 and 18. Try
to capture the urgency and panic of the last couple
weeks and expand it to the whole term next year.
Every article I will point out a teacher who has helped Big ASB over the preceding weeks. This month’s
winner is Ms. Guerra, whose stapler we broke. Sorry about that.
Though I am not a super genius and will not graduate on June 11,
qualified seniors will. Bring something squishy to sit on at Edmonds
Stadium, as the ceremony is a marathon of alphabetical commemoration.
Those whose excellence over the past four years did not go unnoticed
will be recognized on the 8, Senior Awards Night.
The rest of us will have a 25 percent empty school for a few days, and
take finals on June 17 and 18. If you see a newly elected member of
class ASB from April 29, make sure to give them a high five or whatever
commendation is appropriate for your social demographic. Bye.
